February

I hate the month of February.
I could say it's because of the month of my birthday.
But that's kind of weak, don't you think?
It seems like...every year, I fall apart even more....
As I get closer to the guilt. It's been almost three or four years now.

I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.
It seems like no one is talking to me anymore.
Like I'm not there....
...so, what happens when I'm not there anymore?

...Will they notice?
Will anyone notice?

Guys, I'm falling apart.
Please come save me from myself.
Can't you all see that I need you right now?! More than ever?!


Did I do something wrong...?
I'm so sorry...I don't understand.
You guys don't talk to me. What am I doing wrong?
I'm just a selfish bitch..every move I make.

My family. My parents. The government. You all.
It's just...

I'm sorry.
I'm done.
I give up.
I can't pretend to be whole anymore.

I'm done with this "resolve".
Because in the end...
What difference will it make?

....Looks like just another February.